The side effects of too strong love

 Christianity used the "foul play" that Christ is the son of God. And it defeated me, but because it was a foul play, that ultra-secret came with serious side effects. That was the


 "Trinity."


If Christ is the son of God, how is he connected to God the Father? The Holy Spirit connects the Father and the Son, and the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are the Trinity... What's that? No matter how many times I hear the Trinity, I just don't understand it. It's completely incomprehensible, even before I even consider whether I believe in the Trinity or not. I just can't understand it. By the way, what about his mother, Mary?


Whenever I hear priests say things like "In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Amen" during Christian prayers, I always think, "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? Why are there three?" and think it sounds so complicated.


It's so difficult that my intellect can't keep up. Am I the only one who doesn't understand the Trinity? Do Christians understand it? If so, is my intelligence too low? Is my IQ too low? Or are Christians just too intelligent? Which? Probably both.


In comparison, Islam is all about God (Allah). Ah, so easy to understand. Ah, so refreshing. So calming. So reassuring. Case closed.


But that's not to say I converted from Christianity to Islam. God gave His son to show us, who are so ignorant, how much He loves us. I was completely overwhelmed and overcome by that love. I have fully received God's painful love for us. I understand it spiritually. That white light is so bright I can see it. So bright I can't keep my eyes open.


But when it comes to the Trinity, I suddenly don't understand it. Is it because I try to understand love rationally? God's love transcends reason, and when you try to explain it rationally, it becomes an obscure theory like the Trinity, and it's incomprehensible to someone with a low IQ like me.


So, while I believe 100% in the "Love" shown by Christ, the doctrine of the Trinity just doesn't make sense to me. So, how do I believe in Christ? Like the "little flower of St. Francis."


I wonder if God deliberately made me stubborn about the Trinity. Perhaps it was so that I could visit Islam. Perhaps once I understood the Trinity, I was satisfied enough with it, thought Christianity was enough, and lost interest in visiting Islam, let alone going beyond that to Ramakrishna. I'm sure God wanted to show me both Islam and Ramakrishna (Hindu?).


Oh, but even before that, I still believe in Buddhism.

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