MANIMANI

 I said that I started with Buddhism, but before that, I should explain what attracted me to religion in the first place. Although Buddhism is rooted in Japan, it is cultural, or in everyday life such as funerals, and in reality, modern Japanese people who have faith are a minority. In other words, there are very few people who truly believe in religion. However, there seem to be some new religious movements that are active. In a sense, modern Japan is a religious vacuum. I was born and raised in that environment, so naturally I have always been non-religious. It is probably impossible to gain faith in such an environment.

So, the reason why I was attracted to religion is actually music. I wrote before that I got a job at a bank and quit after a year and a half, but the reason was not because I "stopped serving money and ran to God," but simply because I "wanted to do music." When I say music, I mean making music. This is a blog about faith, so I won't go into detail about music, but at first I made music that had nothing to do with religion. Or rather, I made music. Music for today's generation. However, at a certain point, I became really attracted to religious music. Things like ancient Japanese Kagura songs, Gregorian chants, Buddhist chanting, and recitations from the Quran. Chanting and the Quran are not music, but CDs have been released. When I compose music, I always end up going in that direction. Someone once said that if you pursue any path to the very end, you will always find God there, and I feel that this is true, and that even in music, if you pursue it to the very end, you will reach God. I feel that there is a sacred presence in music, or that I want to express a sacred presence, or that I just want to praise God, that is, Buddha. I just can't stop.

And then that moment came.

I don't remember exactly when it was, but now that I think about it, there is a song that I think it was. I started to write only songs that praised God, or rather, I could only write those. What's more, even though I was the one who composed it and not the one who played or sang it, I ended up singing it myself. I can't leave it to others to praise God. So, even though I know I have no singing ability, I have no choice but to praise God. So I sang. Anyone with a decent sense of music should know that this is not something to let other people hear.

Anyway, I praised God, begged God for mercy, and forced Him to give me His grace. I stood in front of God's door, ignoring all manners and etiquette, and begged loudly and with a roar. For Him to give me His grace. And He did. Grace.

And that's how I gained faith.

I must have been noisy. I was just yelling at the top of my lungs. God must have been smiling wryly, too. I heard some noisy kid yelling outside, and it seemed like he was asking for My grace. I had no choice but to give him faith.

If you sing with your soul, God will listen. No matter how bad you are.

So, I think this was probably the first song.

By the way, the title "Manimani" means "as (God) commands." The rest of the lyrics are "Oh, God, have mercy." The second half also includes a phrase from an ancient Japanese Kagura song.